BLAINESWORLD (formerly STUFF)--the newsletter--contains some jokes, hopefully not too risqué; websites; reviews, etc. It began in 1996 and has come out on a more or less weekly basis since then.
For this missive to work best, it needs to be a two-way process; i.e., you need to share your thoughts and ideas. I will do likewise. And toward that end, I'd like you to think about the following: If I gave you a dollar, and you gave me a dollar back, we'd each have a buck. However, if I gave you a joke, quote or idea, and if you gave me one back, we'd each have two.
Past Issues In the unlikely event you are not already a
subscriber and want to see a past issue, please click here:
A. Cynthia, my beautiful bride, and I:
(1) Saw Asheville Lyric Opera's delightful production of SOUTH PACIFIC. We
especially enjoyed Strother Stingley (below) as Luther Billis, and we got a kick out of seeing our friend Doug Hauschild as Capt. Brackett. Fred Lemmons, as usual, distinguished himself on the clarinet.
We received an added bonus at the performance we attended: Ice cream from
The Hop was given out to all those in attendance. That's Greg Garrison hard at work.
Kudos to that establishment, as well as to Marcy Gallagher and Kilwin's for providing treats at the Opening Night reception.
(2) Went bowling with our friends Marvin Brown and Annemarie Sadovsky at the AMF Star Lanes. We had a fun time and all did surprisingly well, given that we hadn't bowled in quite some time. In fact, for me, it was my first time in probably 30 years.
Thank goodness for the fact that their grandson Jack was with us, in that it also made it possible for us to use the bumper rails . . . and not roll any gutter balls that way!
(3) Joined our friends Beth and Steve Byas for a delicious barbecue meal at 12 Bones. Joining us were Beth's parents, Bill and Ellen Hill.
B. Congratulations to:
(1) Tom Giraldi on the birth of his beautiful granddaughter Sophia.
(2) Ta S'ina Tokaheya Oglala on her recent engagement.
(3) Michelle Baker on the launch of the website for her upcoming book, THE
CANOE (due out in November). You can check it out now by clicking:
(4) Ezra Shanken for the article about him that appeared in eJewish Philanthropy. You can read it by clicking:
(1) The A-B Tech Small Business Center at the BASE (Base Acceleration Site
in Enka), in conjunction with its community partner, Asheville SCORE,
cordially invites you to the following free seminar:
Maximizing Your Mobile Marketing--including email & social
Tuesday Aug. 19, 2014 from 2-4:30 p.m.
Note: I'll be hosting this event, and it will presented by Constant Contact's
Aaron Wesley Means.
For complete information, please go to Section 1 when you click:
(2) YOUR BIG CHANCE! You can hear me sing "You Gotta Have Heart" in BUSINESS SINGS BROADWAY at Asheville Community Theatre on Aug. 22 and 23. I'll be joined by Mark A. Knollman, Marvin C. Sadovsky, Michael Trayford, Brian Biro, Keith Challenger and Doug Hauschild. In addition, we'll be part of the overall cast that will sing both "Comedy Tonight" incomparable Jerry Crouch will be directing, so you just know the show is going to be a hit. I do hope you can come; for more
information, please click:
(3) There's still time to enter . . .
***** CONTEST #15******
One lucky winner will receive a copy of LOSING IT! BEHAVIORS AND MINDSETS
THAT RUIN CAREERS: LESSONS ON PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM AVOIDABLE MISTAKES by Bill Lane. The book contains advice that can help you identify your own possible leadership flaws--and then provides pragmatic advice on how to fix, eliminate or overcome them. I reviewed it in BLAINESWORLD #827 and
To enter: Put "CONTEST #15 in the subject of an email and send it to:
email@example.com . . . make sure you include your name AND snail mail address
in the body of the email . . . all entries must be received on or before 9
p.m. on Monday, July 28.
D. My health update:
(1) Having reached that certain age, I had my "Welcome to Medicare"
physical. All checked out well, though my LDL level was slightly elevated.
(It's not a problem, though, in that the overall ratio to good cholesterol
was fine.) Nevertheless, my doctor suggested that I start taking a
supplement called Red Rice Yeast.
Mr. Curious here: You and/or anybody you know take this? If so, what have
been the results?
(2) I also had a recent stress test. When taking it, I easily went past
the allocated time--and was told that I have the heart of a 45-year old.
(3) In addition, I visited my dermatologist, and he did a biopsy on a spot
on my head. It turned out that this spot needed to be removed, and so I
just had that done via Mohs surgery.
(4) Lastly, I'm hoping that the second bone graft in my mouth worked. If
that be the case, then maybe--just maybe--I'll be able to have my tooth
implant in place sometime within my lifetime. This has already been
stretching on nearly two years.
Ah, the joys of aging! The one good thing: Most all my visits now seem to
covered by Medicare, which means that I don't seem to have to pay a
***** BLAINESWORLD BEST AWARD *****
This week, it goes to James Garner, R.I.P. . . . long a favorite of mine
for his roles in MAVERICK and THE ROCKFORD FILES, I loved his wry sense
of humor both on and off screen . . . for example, when asked if he would
ever do a nude scene, he replied, "I don't do horror films." . . . then
there were his commercials with Mariette Hartley, which never failed to
put a smile on my face--including this one:
But it was his role as Duke in THE NOTEBOOK with Gena Rowlands (below)
that perhaps most resonated with me . . . and especially when he said,
"That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is."
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This sign was used to get aggressive Boston drivers to use their turn signals. Methinks that New Yawkers could also relate to it. And in North Carolina, it would work if they added "Y'all" to the beginning. For more information, please click:
FYI, part 2
(1) Marilynne H. in NC: So sweet (dog with baby)!
(2) Mark J. in NC: Stuff that Southern women say
(3) Bob P. in NC: Cat vs. statue cat
(4) Rachel R. in SC: Watch his tiny Alaskan Malamute pup try howling for the first time!
(5) Tom H. in NC: Barney (Tom himself) in clogging competition
(6) Sheryl S. in PA: David Beckham Pepsi Commercial (amazing shot making)
(7) Risa O. in NJ: Cat adopts bunny
(8) How to correctly roll your shirt sleeves
(9) Susan M. in NJ: Hidden Camera Records 4 Women At Hospital
(10) Sally B. in NC: Should math be taught in schools?
B. Other tidbits from readers
To read each of the following contributions in full, please click:
(1) Gladys P. in NC: Always interested in hearing your recommendations. (2) Sandy B. in PA: Really great issue! (3) Mel G. in CO: Nice newsletter! (4) Tobi B. in PA: If you love our work [of the Foundation at Bucks County Community College] then tell the world! (5) Chuck F. in NC: Here's your chance to support the arts, or at least the actors struggling to live while making us laugh and cry, just like those goofy masks representing comedy and drama. (6) Terry B. in FL: I love it, Blaine [notice of my recent anniversary]!!! (7) Lisa Z. in PA: Hi . . . friends, please check out this link for a Children's Hospital RadioThon. (8) Natalie K. in PA: The worst movie I've seen to date - Sex Tape. (9) Which Beatles song are you? (10) Meta C. in NC: 3 scariest words a boy can hear. (11) Donna K. in NC: Oh my goodness there are SOOOOOO many favorites [referring to films].
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3. Joke 1
LITTLE KNOWN FACTOID: The hospital gown was invented by Seymour Butts. And here you thought Bart Simpson was making that name up on THE SIMPSONS when he called bartender Moe Szslak and asked him to call out that person.
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A. Forget the good reviews that you may have heard about 22 JUMP STREET. Though billed as a comedy follow-up to 21 JUMP STREET, I didn't find it at all funny--except for one or two short bits. This time around, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum have graduated high school and are now in college. They're OK; the film isn't. About the only thing worth watching for me were the closing credits that are more than just outtakes. Do stay around for them. Rated R.
B. Out on DVD is THE OTHER WOMAN . . . my review from BLAINESWORLD #919 follows:
THE OTHER WOMAN is a not very funny comedy about three women who team up to plot revenue on the cheating guy who has lied to them all. As I was watching it, I kept thinking that the story had been done before--and better--in THE FIRST WIVES CLUB. Also, though I am usually a fan of both Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann, they just didn't click in this film--except in one scene where they were hiding in the bushes. Kate Upton, in particular, was pretty poor in every scene she was in. Rated PG-13.
You'll do much better renting LAST LOVE, a touching story of a widowed professor living in Paris who finds an unlikely friend when he meets a free-spirited young dance instructor. Michael Caine is outstanding in the leading role, and I also very much liked Clémence Poésy as the woman who helps him find new meaning in life. Unrated, but certainly appropriate for any mature teenager.
C. WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS JOBS (Summersdale Publishers) by Paula Reid takes a look at 21 occupations that are certainly not for the faint at heart. They range from astronaut to world superbike champion and also include such others as Formula One driver, stunt performer and undercover cop.
The author, a motivational speaker and coach, also happens to be a bit of a daredevil herself--having completed 94 things for far on her list of things to do before she dies. In this book, she interviews actual people who do and/or have done each of the jobs she writes about.
Perhaps my favorite piece was the one about the sniper. His comment about one typical day really gave me a feel for what his work entails:
You have a mental adjustment that it's gone wrong. You pick up the atmospherics and that's why I was walking backwards. You don't take your eyes off them; you can't trust them for a second. These people don't like you, and they have a particular mentality. They don't care if they die that day and trying to overcome that mentality is crazy. But that's what you're up against.
I liked the fact that each chapter of the book began with boxed information that contained an extreme rating, a danger level, criteria, skills and salary. In addition, each chapter concluded with both a danger fact and an extreme fact--such as this one for stunt performer:
In LIVE AND LET DIE, Ross Kananga as James Bound used four crocodiles as stepping stones to reach safety on the other side. . . . During the four attempt, the crocodile bit through the shoe and into his foot.
After reading WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS JOBS, I've come to the conclusion that my decision to have been a college professor was a wise one.
D. Heard RANTING AGAIN (Random House Audio), written and read by Dennis Miller.
The author, a comedian, used to be one of my favorite performers when he was on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE and then HBO. This effort is a funny follow-up to his earlier book, THE RANTS. It continues in the same style; i.e., he begins each section by saying "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but . . . " and then he goes off on such topics as animal rights, the sobriety movement and the American school system.
Though RANTING AGAIN came out in 1998 and it somewhat dated, I still got a kick out of most of it. But then again, to quote Miller, "Now, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."
What I'd really like is to be able to listen to some new material from him, especially since I don't get to listen to him on his current syndicated radio show.
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5. TV alert
A. MANHATTAN is a drama about everything connected with Los Alamos, the New Mexico location there the first atomic bomb was created in the early 1940s. "Just two episodes of this 13-part series have been made available," notes Dorothy Robinowitz in THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, [but they are] enough to indicate the enormous care devoted to the look of the 40s. . . . We get an immediate sense, as well, of the characters likely to command attention." Premieres Sunday, July 27, at 9 p.m. on WGN.
B. LOVE CHILD is a documentary focusing on the death of one couple's 3-month-old baby from malnutrition in 2009 while they played an online game in six-to-12-hour binges.The horrible irony of the story? The game they were playing involved caring for a virtual child. Monday, July 28, at 9 p.m. on HBO.
C. THE HONORABLE WOMAN is a series about spies, competing national-security agencies, the bitterness of the Israeli-Arab conflict and the forces of ideology run amok. I'll watch, if for no other reason than to see any cast that features such stars as Maggie Gyllenhaal, Stephen Rea and Janet McTeer. Premieres Thursday, July 31, at 9 p.m. on SUNDANCE.
D. SATISFACTION is a drama about a guy who discovers that Zen isn't his thing, but sin just might be. His wife feels the same way. According to Matt Roush TV GUIDE, "Their journey may not yet be entirely or credibly satisfying, but it's one of the most intriguing rides I've experienced all summer." Thursdays at 10 p.m. on USA.
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6. Joke 2
GLOBAL WARMING is one thing, but see below for what can also happen when we continue to clear our forests. We have to stop cutting down too many trees. This is getting serious!
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A. Steven S. in FL: Ever feel like you could use a tutorial on the conflict in Israel? Maybe you know someone that would appreciate a quick rundown?
The Middle East problem
B. Savannah H. in PA: Funniest joke ever! (Features comedian Joe Machi on both gun control and President Obama.)
Note: I've been enjoying this guy on LAST COMIC STANDING. He is very funny.
C. BLAINESWORLD, the website, remains up and running . . . to view it, please click:
If you haven't yet seen my comedy debut, click "Blaine's Best" to the left and then "Video Clips" . . . the second one. The fourth one also has me doing standup.
D. Are you on Facebook? In the unlikely event we have not yet connected as friends there, please feel free to send me an invite by clicking:
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8. Technology tip
Five reasons your Internet keeps breaking when you stream
Does your Internet keep stalling when you stream TV shows? Learn what you can do to stream without interruption.
To find out more, please click:
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9. Joke 3
Sitting in a bar having drinks with a friend, I casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said, "That's us in ten years." . . . He replied, "That's a mirror, dipshit."
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10. A quote I like
"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up."--Joe Namath (born 1943), pro football player best known for boldly guaranteeing a Jets' victory over the NFL Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III and the making good on his prediction when he led his team to a 16-7 win
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11. Thought for the day
With all that's happening in the world, I thought you'd like to hear the following song:
Pray For Peace - Reba McEntire
And for more information about it, please click:
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12. Advance planning department
To read about each of the following events in full, please click:
A. NC events
(1) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR. (2) SISTERS. (3) THE BUDDY HOLLY DANCE PARTY. (4) PROMISES.
B. PA/NJ event
2014 Kelsey Theatre Awards.
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PS. Make it a wonderful week!